The Parents Daily is your source for advice and information for rasing your kids. 家長日報是你的來源，諮詢和信息育兒您的孩子。 Author: A few months ago I was watching public TVs annual drive to raise money. 作者：幾個月前，我看到公共電視年度建設籌集資金。 One of the primary offers fo 的一個主要提供的 Article source: http://www.articledeshboard.com/ . 文章來源： http://www.articledeshboard.com/ 。 Used with author's permission. 用作者的許可。 A few months ago I was watching public TV's annual drive to raise money.幾個月前，我看到公共電視的年度建設籌集資金。 One of the primary offers for your pledge was a video of the "Doo Wop" music of the '50s and early '60s.一個主要為您提供的承諾是一個視頻的“鬥Wop ”音樂的50年代和60年代初。 In addition to playing many of my favorite songs they showed old media news clips referring to this as "the devil's music", wanting it banned because of the harm it was doing to the teenagers.除了打我的許多喜愛的歌曲，他們老媒體的新聞剪輯提到這是“魔鬼的音樂” ，想禁止，因為它的危害是這樣做的十幾歲的青少年。 As part of that generation I recall it as a very superficial time when most of us did what we were told and only minimally challenged prevailing expectations.作為那一代我記得這是一個非常膚淺的時候我們大多數人做了什麼，我們被告知，只有最低限度的挑戰普遍預期。 That led me to think about the next generation, the Boomers, who rioted, challenged authority, used drugs heavily, and turned sex into a recreational activity.這使我想到下一代的潮，誰暴動，挑戰權威，大量使用藥物，並把性教育變成娛樂活動。 By now you may be wondering what this has to do with holiday gifts!現在您可能想知道什麼，這跟節日禮品！ Bear with me.熊同我。 It is a time-honored tradition for each generation of teens to engage in some new set of activities that is perceived as dangerous to their development and to blame contemporary social influences on individual tragedies that take place during those years.這是一個歷史悠久的傳統，每一代的青少年進行一些新的活動，被認為是危險的發展，並指責當代社會影響個人悲劇，發生在這些年裡。 In the psychologizing of America we have come to extend this concept of social influence all the way back to prenatal experience!在美國psychologizing我們來到這個概念擴大社會影響所有的方式回到產前的經驗！ The net result is that parents agonize even more over every move they make and how it might harm their children.最終的結果是，父母更煩惱了，他們的一舉一動，以及如何使這可能傷害他們的孩子。 If your daughter is allowed to buy a Britney Spears' doll you are accused of increasing the likelihood that she will either become oversexed or develop an eating disorder.如果你的女兒被允許購買Britney Spears '的娃娃你被指控的可能性增加，她都將成為性慾過剩或開發一種飲食失調症。 If you buy your son a violent video game you are similarly warned that you are increasing the likelihood he will commit a violent crime.如果你買你兒子的暴力視頻遊戲你也同樣警告說，你是越來越多的可能性，他將犯下的暴力犯罪活動。 Oh if life were only so simple.噢，如果生命只有這麼簡單。 Eating disorders are a serious concern in our society as is male violence.飲食失調是一個嚴重關切我們的社會是男性的暴力。 But these are complex problems and our ability to predict which child develops one of these problems is virtually nil.但是，這些都是複雜的問題，我們有能力預測哪些兒童發展的一個這些問題是幾乎等於零。 For decades millions of young girls have spent endless hours playing with Barbie dolls and boys have been exposed to ever-increasing violence in all forms of the media.幾十年來，數以百萬計的年輕女孩花了無數小時玩芭比娃娃和男孩都受到越來越多的暴力所有形式的媒體。 While we are genuinely concerned about the extent of eating disorders and violence in our society, the facts are that the vast majority of women do not develop an eating disorder and the vast majority of men do not commit violent crimes.雖然我們真正關心的程度，飲食失調和暴力在我們的社會，事實是，絕大多數的婦女沒有制定一個飲食失調和絕大多數的男人不犯下暴力罪行。 The actions of individuals are a complex playing out of the interaction of temperament, neurochemistry, personal experience, and social influence.該行動的個人是一個複雜的發揮出互動的氣質，神經化學，個人經驗，社會影響力。 Furthermore, significant problems during childhood and adolescent years do not mean doom for one's adult life.此外，在重大問題的童年和青少年時代並不意味著世界末日一個成年人的生活。 We are extraordinarily resilient creatures.我們是非常堅韌的動物。 Need I point out that the seemingly out-of-control behavior by our youth from the mid-'60s to the mid-'70s spawned a generation of free thinkers.我需要指出的是，似乎失去控制的行為，我們的青年從中期到60年代中期， 70年代催生了一代人的自由思想家。 They created an unparalleled era of prosperity based mostly on an endless creation of self-owned businesses combined with exceptional gains in medicine and science that has also included dramatic changes in gender roles and a new melting-pot society.他們創造了一個前所未有的繁榮時代的依據是無止境的自我創造國有企業加上特殊收益醫學和科學，還包括急劇變化的性別角色和一個新的融化一鍋社會。 That's you I'm talking about - the majority of today's parents.這是你我談論-大多數今天的父母。 So when you go to buy your child some holiday presents I would urge you to be less influenced by the current doomsayers and more influenced by your own values.所以，當你去購買你的孩子一些假日禮物我促請你少的影響，目前doomsayers ，更影響自己的價值觀。 Too many parents have become confused and overwhelmed by all the advice that people like me send streaming forth.許多家長也已成為困惑和不知所措的所有意見，像我這樣的人傳送串流等等。 It's a challenge to separate out what really matters.這是一個挑戰，分開真正重要的。 For a long time I have urged parents to believe that what really matters is to have a close bond with their children by learning how to enjoy them and see their strengths despite how challenging that is with certain children.很長一段時間我已敦促家長認為，真正重要的是有密切債券與他們的孩子學習如何享受他們看到自己的長處，儘管如何挑戰是與某些兒童。 In addition I urge parents to know what they believe in and provide some consistency for their children by being willing to take the heat for standing behind their values.此外，我呼籲家長知道他們相信並提供了一些一致性他們的孩子被願意採取熱站在他們的價值觀。 Your daughter can own a Spears' doll but if you feel the clothes she wants to wear are too provocative, say no.你的女兒能擁有一個Spears '的娃娃，但如果你覺得衣服，她想穿太挑釁，說不。 You may find certain video games cross a line of acceptability because of excessive violence or the values expressed (eg, bigotry).您可能會發現某些視頻遊戲跨線的可接受性，因為過多的暴力行為或表達的價值觀（如偏執） 。 Say no.說不。 If these concepts resonate with you then it follows that you should buy gifts that you find acceptable for your children and that will be a part of a holiday experience that has personal meaning for the family rather than a temporary material meaning.如果這些概念與你共鳴，那麼如下，您應該買禮物，你找到可以接受的好你的孩子，而且將是一個組成部分假期的經驗，具有個人意義的家庭，而不是一個臨時的物質意義。 As adults, few remember their childhood holiday gifts.作為成年人，很少記住他們的童年節日禮物。 Warm holiday memories usually consist of the sense of traditions that include sights and sounds and smells that are associated with a sense of family closeness.溫暖的節日記憶通常意義上的傳統，包括景點和聲音和氣味相關聯的有正義感的家庭親近。 If you can achieve that then you are having meaningful holidays.如果你能做到這一點，你有有意義的假期。 Furthermore, that closeness is the strongest factor in increasing the likelihood that your children will ultimately make healthy decisions about their lives.此外，這種親密關係是最強烈的因素在增加的可能性，你的孩子將最終做出健康決定自己的生活。 Dr. Heller is a clinical psychologist, now retired, who specialized in providing services to children, families, and couples since 1968.海勒博士是一個臨床心理學家，現在退休了，誰在提供專門服務，兒童，家庭，夫妻自1968年以來。 He has written over 150 columns about parenting and marriage which are available on his website, www.drheller.com.他撰寫了150多個欄目的父母和婚姻是可以在自己的網站上， www.drheller.com 。 | 
